And my world changes… AGAIN
One chapter closes on my life, and another opens.
My boyfriend and I broke up on Wednesday night. We both knew it had been coming for a long time — neither of us have been very happy lately. The difference was, I really wanted to give it a shot, and he just didn’t. He has too many other issues in his life right now, and I suppose I was just not accenting his life in a positive, happy way. I’m very sad, but I know as much as it hurts, the pain will go away, and I will move ahead with my life’s adventures.
One thing I can say about him is that he’s been very accomodating about our living situation. I just don’t think I could deal with all this mess, and deal with a move on my own and all the financial crap that would entail to do that. I have very little of my own furniture, and a move right now would be too much. I’m already over the top in grief. It really feels like someone died. As much as I’m a strong person, I feel very sad, and a little scared too.
As I mend my heart, I must thank all my friends and family for their absolutely amazing support and kind words they’ve offered me over the past two days. I’d really be an absolute train wreck right now without their sweet words, and kick in the butt as well. A couple of my friends have exercised “tough love” and as much as it hurts, it’s really helping me see things more clearly in this otherwise confusing, heartbreaking mess.
He’ll always be my friend… and I’ll always love him that way. Does that sound completely pathetic? I hope, after all of this craziness, that our friendship will grow stronger. I hold no ill feelings towards him. Maybe, one day, we’ll both find people that can bring us as much happiness and love as we both deserve. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for both of us.
This is a very sad, but forward-thinking Tanya signing off for today.
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