Looking for a better week.

I’m feeling down. It’s one of those down-swings that everyone experiences, I suppose. Even still — I can’t put my finger on why I am struggling with this to this degree. By all accounts, I should be a happy chick with all the good stuff that’s going on in my life. Work’s good — Can’t complain there. I have no real strife with any of my friends, so it’s probably not my existing social life. And yet, I was in such a horrific mood yesterday that I couldn’t even call Jenn on her birthday for fear that I’d just completely ruin her day with my bad attitude. Man. That’s sad. [Place a big, warm hug to Jenn here -- Wish I could've been in a better mood yesterday, Hon!]

Friday night was fun, regardless of this stupid funk I’m dealing with. I made dinner for Glenn and Vern, and then Glenn and I sat and talked for hours, catching up. I haven’t seen him in ages, and it was good to spend some time yacking about life and work. Afterwards, I wasn’t tired, so I went online, and had a nice long chat with Anders until almost 5am… something we haven’t done in a long time! He always makes me smile. I’m so happy to hear that life is treating him so well, and that he and Anna are so happy together. [Grin: Du gör mej mycket lycklig, Anders!] Now, if only I could find that kind of happiness!

Online dating is pretty destructive to one’s ego, I’ve decided. I haven’t been on a date in a while now, but upon reflection of my recent past’s experiences with that, I’ve come to realize that it’s not a good way to meet new people to date. People who’ve been on the sites for months and months are pretty much all cynical, or they’ve decided that there is a certain checklist that they must obtain. That’s unrealistic. It’s the “overdating” syndrome. Stretch the timeline over weeks of dating several men, and it’s really hard to keep up and remember all the details, myself! I’ve become desensitized I think.

So… as you can probably guess, I guess my mood is probably related to the fact that I haven’t been surrounded by anyone who’s interested me romantically, or been interested in me to any real extent that way. I really miss being the object of someone’s affection. That’s the high and low of it. On an intimate level, I’m a bit lonely.

Here’s to a better, happier week, next week!