Another wedding weekend.

My long-time friends, Pearl and Graham got married this weekend… It was nice to see a couple so in love! I couldn’t imagine either of them with anyone else, that’s how convinced I was that they were going to make it. Thanks for inviting me to share in your day, you two, I really enjoyed it. I can’t believe how many people that I ran into that I had known or met years before… It was like a school reunion or something (not that I’d know — I won’t step foot in a school reunion!).

Graham was my roommmate twice, over the years, and I can remember the day perfectly when he came home and said (with a huge glowing smile) that he’d met someone that he really liked. I won’t forget that day because it’s not very often that someone close to you says that, and you can tell they *really* mean it. I think it was that moment, the moment when Graham said that, that I knew what I had in my 12.5 year marriage really didn’t come close to being love, as much as we tried to manufacture it. I can say that while thinking back, neither I nor my ex-husband (who, as it turns out, was an usher at this last weekend’s wedding) would have looked like that at any point in our marriage. I still wonder what the hell I was thinking, getting married to someone for the convenience, and security of it. If only I knew then what I know now… Love and passion are both possible and real, and they certainly constitute more than a feeling of security and friendship.

But, I digress.

The weekend was pretty good, on the most part, even though I was fighting bouts of feeling sorry for myself for not having someone special in my life — That will come with time. (Or, at least, that is what I was telling myself anyhow.) Deetria came over on Friday night to work on a school poster — The subject matter, prostitution, was a bit of a downer but working on the project was fun. I can’t wait to see it printed! We went to the Foggy Dew after we had finished with the project, and had some fun dancing until we both decided we were too tired, and went back to my place and crashed.

I was in Ikea-furniture-building hell last night — Vern helped me with it, thankfully, before he went out on a date. That was nice of him, because I certainly couldn’t lift that “wardrobe” peice myself, and it would have been difficult to get around it in my room, when it was half-built. He’s a great guy, and a good friend… I think we finally figured out some stuff last week, so hopefully our new-found understanding will allieviate some stress on both our parts. I hate being stressed about being taken advantage of, and even worse, I really don’t like feeling crummy the next day after getting so angry at him for treating me that way. I’m looking forward to better times ahead, as these recent few weeks have been pretty frustrating for both of us. I know we can both do better.

I’m off to get some work done now — I can’t believe how fast this morning is going! Have a great Monday, everyone!