Food for thought.
I’ve been doing some research for personal perspective, and gained some insight from a bunch of online and off-line sources relating to building the ideal relationship. Here’s a few points that I have gathered on this topic.
1. Letting Go of the Past
The first step in being able to attract and create your ideal relationship is to clear the way for it by dropping the baggage from your past. The sooner you can truly let go of this baggage the less likely you are to recreate bad situations.2. Discovering Past Patterns
Attracting and creating an ideal relationship requires taking inventory of how you act in relationships. If you don’t clearly see the patterns in those relationships, you are powerless to have relationships which are different in the future.3. Discovering & Celebrating Needs
Recognize, honor and fulfill your needs. Your needs should be the criteria for choosing a partner. Be sure to choose a partner that will satisfy your long term not your short term needs. Choosing a partner out of short term needs guarantees that the relationship will not last.4. Developing Strong Boundaries
To know and honor your limits builds your self esteem, while earning the respect of others. Boundaries also greatly enhance your ability to select the right partner. The wrong partner will cross your boundaries fairly early into the relationship. If you are aware, the wrong partner can be quickly recognized.5. Define Your Ideal Partner
To define your true ideal relationship and partner, ask yourself not what you want but what you need. What can you not live without in a relationship? What do you need to thrive? What do you need from a partner day to day? To remove fantasy from your definition, ask yourself what you want from another that you are not willing to do or be yourself.6. Redefining Socializing
If you want to meet your ideal partner, stop looking for her or him. Be social to enhance your life and not to look for a partner. When you life works and you are happy, the right partner will be drawn to you.7. Developing New Relationship Patterns
*See people for who they are and not for who you want them to be or who you are afraid they are.
*Recognize your attraction to people and understand what you are attracted to in them.
*Know what you need and be able to assess if a potential partner is able and willing to meet your needs.
*Communicate and determine what your potential partner’s needs are and again, determine if you can fulfill those needs as well.
*Know and respect your boundaries and communicate when they are crossed.
As always, I welcome your thoughts!
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
Please don’t feed the animals.
Maybe I’m a romantic, but I’ve always thought that there’s a true soul mate out there for everyone and that a perfect relationship will ~just happen~.
My own opinion here, and god knows I’ve been wrong before. The more you over analyze and work hard at finding the perfect relationship, the less likely it will happen.
Relaaaax guy, take a load off! Tanks? Those aren’t Tanks! Hey buddy – look over there!
I can actually HEAR you saying that last paragraph. That’s just scary. Get out of my head.
I don’t believe that there’s just “one” person out there for us. I think there are a lot of people who we can be in love with and share a wonderful relationship. It’s all about the choices we make for ourselves – the conversations we have in our own heads.
For example: A partner can’t give you anything that you’d don’t already believe you possess. If you look for a partner who is going to make you “feel” a certain way in your life, then you’ll forever be disappointed. You have to create that feeling for yourself, and then be willing to share it with a partner. That said, it helps to find partners who understand what it is to SHARE a life without taking it over or taking it for granted.
That old adage about having to stop lookng for a relationship before you find the right one is TOTALLY true. Everyone I know who’s found a solid, strong relationship was not looking for it (with that person) when it started. I know that’s one of the most annoying pieces of advice ever coined, but it’s so damn true.
I always believe that the number one thing to look for in a prospective partner is their ability to respect you and show that respect. Everything else is the icing on the cake.
Speaking of cake, when can we go to True Confections again? I’m suddenly hungry.
I’m right with you on all of your thoughts, Sue! Especially the part about looking. I’m done with that. I’m going to just have some fun and see what life brings, rather than seeking out someone. I’m taking a break from the single-scene, I guess.
And… Let’s make it a plan to get out for some delightful treats soon! When are you available?