A question for single guys: (And women who are in the ‘know’)
Imagine you aren’t a standard Vancouverite, and you don’t have any problem making conversation with women here in town… Do you know what finger the wedding ring is located on? Do you look for it before you initiate conversation?
The other day, a friend of mine said I shouldn’t wear any rings — It confuses men, and that’s part of the reason why men don’t approach me (other than last night’s bizarre situation). I wear two rings, and they are located on my middle finger of each hand. If you were a single guy, would this confuse you?
Should I abandon my rings for a while?
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I learned the ‘ring check’ shortly after high school, it’s essential to know. I would try to shake hands with my right to see their left (which is tricky, I’m a southpaw) but I’m no ladies’ man at all. I have friends with eyes like radars, they have amazing ‘ring-eye’ as I call it. Funny how the ones who notice it best are single.
A ring on the middle finger would only confuse mildy retarded stalkers hanging out at Blockbuster… you should keep the da’ rings.
Reminds me my travelling businessman aquaintence once told me when he’d go to out-of-town conferences in the swinging 70′s, hed see all these guys at the disco with white lines around thier ring fingers when they danced under the blacklights.
Cool, what a great question Tanya! My take on the subject… Sure, the ring is one issue. If I’m attracted to someone who I never seen or talked to before, ya, I would look at see the ring finger. But, then again, I know women who deliberately wear a rings on their third finger and could care less about it, although I see it as a strategy? I guess they figure, if they find that special someone, they’ll let them know. Which brings up my point…. Most women who are married, do let men know when the lead in conversation starts. For the most part, the ring is only noticed afterwards when the “mating” interests starts.
Funny, I knew one women who I shared a class with me, all she talk about was her husband and how they were trying to start a family. At the the end if the term, she had separated, moved in with another guy and not once did that ring move from her finger. I did ask her about that, and she replied that it’s value was too much to throw it away…. ???
I think the rings on your hand is a secondary issue unless its the only ring you’ve got.
My problem is I’m am always falling for lesbians. Maybe it’s because many times lesbians are outgoing, engaging, and self assured…as are many gay dudes.
My question is, if there are rings on the left hand “wedding finger”…does that mean the wearer is gay?
How does one approach a woman who one may suspect is a lesbian? Is there a lesbian test?
I know that in my younger, less refined days in Nova Scotia…it would have been fine to breath beer on her and say “You look some good darlin’, I hope you’re not a Lezbean.” Alas, I don’t think that would wash here…
I ran into a girl I pseudo-dated last year, and she had a ring on her wedding-ring finger. I will see her tomorrow, so … should I ask her what the ring is for? It didn’t look like a typical wedding-ring or engagement ring, and I didn’t hear any news of her engagement, but I gotta go with where the ring is rather than what it looks like.
i just recently found out about the “ring finger” actually. now i end up looking for it, even when i’m not interested in the lady.
I meant to say “right hand” for the lesbian wedding ring…in the post above
Off Topic: Tanya, nice change to the web site! I like the eyes…..
Thanks Tom! I finally took a lunch break to update the look/css/imagery. I should have ditched the generic look a year ago, but I’ve been swamped.
I too learned to check the wedding ring finger after high school. I had too many friends then that were getting engaged or married, even then, not to. However, I’ve met a number of people since that do wear rings on that finger. So usually if I suspect that the ring is not a wedding type ring, I’ll ask about it. I don’t think that people generally have a problem talking about rings since often there is a nice story behind some of them.
I’ll answer even though I’m not single. I know that the wedding ring goes on the left hand/2nd finger beside pinky. I have never taken notice of rings while trying to attract a women’s attention…I have a funny story to support that statement.
I want to hear this funny story!! Bring it on, when you have a moment!
Grown-ups should know which hand and finger indicates if the ring is a wedding ring or not… it’s not rocket science.
The confusion may lie in part that the majority of European cultures dictate that the wedding ring is worn on the third finger of the RIGHT hand, whereas in North America, it is the left.
I’m just a country bumkin but even I know that!
And yes, I always look for a wedding ring first.
Side note: Love the new site changes!!! Very nice!
Nope, that probably wouldn’t wash here — Unless of course you were on the Downtown Eastside. Then, you might have a bit of luck!
It took me a little while to figure this out (and a little asking of which finger the wedding ring goes on), but absolutely, the first thing I try to look for on an attractive woman of about-my-age–besides the very obvious things that men look at–is what rings she is wearing on the left hand. The right hand doesn’t really tell me anything. Rings on any other finger than the wedding finger confuse me a little, but not a lot. Only the ring on her wedding ring finger signals unambiguously to me that *at best* she has a cute single friend she kinda feels sorry for now that she herself is married.
No ring on a wedding finger signals to me something possibly (but not always) worse: ambiguity. It tells me that she is likely not married (though it’s possible, but not very likely, that she forgot her ring at home or lost it), but also no word on whether she is casually-dating-a-guy-she-just-met-but-nothing-serious, not-interested-in-a-relationship-right-now, or attractive-men-please-approach-me. In a perfect world, the lack of a ring should signal to my brain “so-far-so-good” and to approach her, say hi and mumble a compliment, and after a few sentences, hand her my card and say, trying to forget how nervous I am and insert pauses where punctuation should be, “my name’s Richard would you like to have coffee sometime here’s my card”.
I always look for a wedding ring – it’s easier to spot on guys, considering they don’t usually wear much hand jewelry. Though it’s not always foolproof. I know a number of men and women who are asshats about their relationships, and take their wedding rings off when they’re fighting with their spouse, or looking for some extramarital action with an unknowing participant.
And also, I’m a diva. I’ll rarely approach a guy of my own volition for the express intent of snagging him.
Richard… I’d ask her. Why not? Probably a good seguay into other topics, no? I wish more men asked when I was married. Back then, I was approached all the time.
What changed? I dunno. I don’t think my confidence has changed, but now that I look back, it’s the only thing that makes sense.
Bottom line here, as far as I’m concerned: I won’t wear rings on my wedding finger. It is a confusion, so I will leave them as they are. I need to adjust my thinking and eye contact level, and I’ll be set.
But, what do I know?
Well I’m a terrible person, because I wear my wedding ring on the right hand. This is for many different personal reasons, and it’s certainly not meant to mislead anyone. If I am in a conversation with a guy who seems to be trying to check out my hands or seems to be otherwise interested in me, I’ll find a way to drop the “my husband” line into the conversation really quickly so he doesn’t get mislead. Sometimes if I know I’ll be around a lot of guys in a “singles” type of environment, I’ll switch the ring onto the left hand just to save people the trouble of wondering. Then again, I don’t really get into many of those situations. But as for your question, Tanya, yes I find a lot of guys do try to check out if I’m wearing a ring, but they’re usually none too subtle about it. I think you can safely still wear all your hand jewellry – if a little thing like a ring on a MIDDLE finger is going to put a man off, he’s obviously not willing to work very hard is he?
I wear a ring on both my right and left ring fingers. I’m not married, both are for sentimental reasons. (One is my grandmothers wedding band, the other is a really pretty star sapphire from my mom.) On the other hand, I never actively look to hook up with people, and if I do, I’ll do the persuing myself. So, the ring thing has never bothered me.
I don’t look for rings. I look for the cute blonde hanging on his/her elbow.