Before the rumour mill goes into full gear…

Okay kids. Have a seat. Sitting now? Good.

First off, Dad, I’m sorry, I don’t agree about keeping personal stuff off my blog. I know you feel that I shouldn’t talk about these things here, but that’s what my blog is all about: Me. My life. My trials and tribulations. My bliss. And, above all else, my feelings.

Secondly, I apologize in advance to the friends/family that I didn’t get a chance to talk to in person before reading this here. I’d much rather say these things over a cup of coffee or a glass of wine, but unfortunately it doesn’t always work that way with our busy lives… So just know that this is coming from my heart, and we’ll have a chance to discuss when I see you next. Hell, you are always welcome to call or drop me a line, or comment here for that matter. My life is pretty open, and although I do listen to advice and weigh it the best that I can, ultimately, I have to do what I feel is right for me, regardless of anyone else’s thoughts on the most important and personal aspects of my life. “I’m riding my own ride.”

So, let’s get to the topic at hand — But, before I do, I’ll add that I’m not going to go too deep into this here. I just want you to know what’s up with me lately without finding out about it second or third hand. I received a phone call late on August 1st from Jeremy. The call itself wasn’t a surprise, because he was on a long distance road trip on his motorcycle, and as I was worried about such a long trip on his bike, I asked him to call me to make sure someone knew where he was along the way, and that he was safe.

What was a surprise, was where the call went. He’d been doing a lot of thinking on his trip; Other than sightseeing, there’s not much else to do on the bike while riding 1500 miles. He said numerous times that it was crazy we weren’t together, and we were both obviously nuts for each other, and he wanted to be with me. For me, this all came out of left field, because we both made it very clear that although we loved each other, we just couldn’t seem to make it work no matter how much effort we put in. I was confused, and a bit guarded. I didn’t understand at first why he wanted to try again. I asked him how this time would be any different… He responded — “We’ll get the tools to make it work this time.”

We went on to discuss the tools that were missing which lead to us to often stumble when we tried to communicate about serious topics in the past, and what we could each do to gain the knowledge to be more successful with this in the future. We both needed to grow, for ourselves, and also to be better people in a relationship.

After over three hours of talking that night, I agreed that if we both put in an effort to make the needed changes and compromises, that ultimately I could see his vision of a happy, loving, long-lasting, respectful relationship with each other.

And so… For the past week and a bit, we’ve been slowly building our relationship foundation. We both know this won’t be like flipping a switch, resulting in glorious light shining from the heavens. But, at the same time, he makes me feel that way inside more often than not, and I feel that is what’s most important. We love each other, and we’re both willing to grow, and that’s what matters.

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I know you’ll have an opinion. All I ask is that you look at how happy I am, and understand that we all have speedbumps in life — mine just happen to be more public than most.