Before the rumour mill goes into full gear…
Okay kids. Have a seat. Sitting now? Good.
First off, Dad, I’m sorry, I don’t agree about keeping personal stuff off my blog. I know you feel that I shouldn’t talk about these things here, but that’s what my blog is all about: Me. My life. My trials and tribulations. My bliss. And, above all else, my feelings.
Secondly, I apologize in advance to the friends/family that I didn’t get a chance to talk to in person before reading this here. I’d much rather say these things over a cup of coffee or a glass of wine, but unfortunately it doesn’t always work that way with our busy lives… So just know that this is coming from my heart, and we’ll have a chance to discuss when I see you next. Hell, you are always welcome to call or drop me a line, or comment here for that matter. My life is pretty open, and although I do listen to advice and weigh it the best that I can, ultimately, I have to do what I feel is right for me, regardless of anyone else’s thoughts on the most important and personal aspects of my life. “I’m riding my own ride.”
So, let’s get to the topic at hand — But, before I do, I’ll add that I’m not going to go too deep into this here. I just want you to know what’s up with me lately without finding out about it second or third hand. I received a phone call late on August 1st from Jeremy. The call itself wasn’t a surprise, because he was on a long distance road trip on his motorcycle, and as I was worried about such a long trip on his bike, I asked him to call me to make sure someone knew where he was along the way, and that he was safe.
What was a surprise, was where the call went. He’d been doing a lot of thinking on his trip; Other than sightseeing, there’s not much else to do on the bike while riding 1500 miles. He said numerous times that it was crazy we weren’t together, and we were both obviously nuts for each other, and he wanted to be with me. For me, this all came out of left field, because we both made it very clear that although we loved each other, we just couldn’t seem to make it work no matter how much effort we put in. I was confused, and a bit guarded. I didn’t understand at first why he wanted to try again. I asked him how this time would be any different… He responded — “We’ll get the tools to make it work this time.”
We went on to discuss the tools that were missing which lead to us to often stumble when we tried to communicate about serious topics in the past, and what we could each do to gain the knowledge to be more successful with this in the future. We both needed to grow, for ourselves, and also to be better people in a relationship.
After over three hours of talking that night, I agreed that if we both put in an effort to make the needed changes and compromises, that ultimately I could see his vision of a happy, loving, long-lasting, respectful relationship with each other.
And so… For the past week and a bit, we’ve been slowly building our relationship foundation. We both know this won’t be like flipping a switch, resulting in glorious light shining from the heavens. But, at the same time, he makes me feel that way inside more often than not, and I feel that is what’s most important. We love each other, and we’re both willing to grow, and that’s what matters.
I know you’ll have an opinion. All I ask is that you look at how happy I am, and understand that we all have speedbumps in life — mine just happen to be more public than most.
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Yep. I agree, Rog. What is the big deal with being so venerable, so openly.
I’ve learned… Thanks folks… ( a few of you at least ) that sharing my life so openly will indeed open my life to unfortunate scrutiny. It saddens me to the core, but I must deal.
i’m happy that you’re happy! that’s what matters most. of course you know that you always have my support.
your blog is your blog and you get to write whatever you want (and leave out whatever you want). i’m just glad i get to read the bits and pieces you share
*hugs*
Good for you Tan. You do what you want/need to, to enhance your happiness in life. Thanks for keeping life open, and sharing here. I’m here whenever you need an ear, and you certainly have my blessing.
Well, I guess we will get to have the TWO of you over for dinner then after all!
Maybe after this baby is born K? I’m glad you are happy Tanya. ( somehow I just knew you guys would get back together. I’ve been meaning to call you and confim it, but in my heart I knew ) Happy times to the both of you. I know you guys will give it your all.
I am confident that you surround yourself with those that only would offer you unconditional support and love – anyone who doesn’t offer you this in life – pfft to them – the roads in life ain’t so black n white – welcome to the beloved world of grey :>
I know you and Jer have had your share of moments questioning your relationship and that has led to the two of you parting ways but if you both still care for each other, then you have to be true to yourselves and try to make it work.
You don’t have to answer to anyone… but yourself.
By the way, I’ve had more than a few people question why I have a blog and want to share so much of my life with complete strangers. They don’t realize some people are completely content with sharing their experiences openly.
After all, what is the big deal?
Its amazing where a little blackmail regarding a certain video tape will get you.
(( Damn… I have to behave at this point… but, I soooooo want to say it… Its not faiirrrrrr…. ))
hah! You think YOU share too much!
Anyhoo, said it before, will say it again: Whatever makes you happy.
Besides, he rides — he can’t be THAT bad.
What’s the point in living live apart if it doesn’t feel right? Live for today, and appreciate the moments – as long as you can say it was all worth it in the end, no matter what the outcome, you’ve done right by yourselves.