frustration…

I’m breaking my rule about posting about work in a way I probably wouldn’t want my employers to read, but I figure it’s not on my site so it doesn’t count.

I’m thoroughly fed up with my job.

The job itself, I don’t mind. In fact, I really enjoy what I do, the people I work with, and so on and so forth. What has me completely fed up is that I’ve been stressed out ridiculously since last May. I told myself in June that if things hadn’t improved by the end of the summer, I’d look for new work. I even had a particular job in mind that I think I’d be really good at, that I was totally qualified for (save one thing, a first aid ticket, which I went and got in July). So now, totally qualified.


Well, things hadn’t improved, but I was promised that within weeks, we’d be hiring someone new. OK, fine. I’d tough it out. The raise I got in September helped. Finally, in October, we hired someone new. After a month, she quit. Damnit. But then in late November, we hired another new person to help me out, and she’s fabulous.


The problem: The work has tripled. What was having me stressed alone in May is now so much that the two of us can’t keep up. I am, once again, totally swamped, totally stressed out, and have been this way now for 8 months. My health is being seriously compromised — both physical and mental. I dread going to work, where I used to enjoy it. I get 3-4 migraines a month (normally, I get 0-1/m), causing me to miss work… and the more work I miss, the further behind I get. There’s so much to do that it’s daunting, and I get even more frustrated.

Last week, I told an extremely abusive customer that we were no longer willing to offer her service. This woman was crazy, and would abuse the staff every time she called — to the point of calling us “cocksuckers” via voicemail, referring to staff she’s never had any dealings with as “morons”, and so on. I was overruled, and she’s allowed to keep her account (although I, and the other staff have made it clear that we will not communicate with her anymore, she has to go straight to upper management if she has any problems. She can abuse them if she wants.) I’m flabbergasted.

And honestly, it’s the last straw. I can’t do this anymore. I’ve had to temporarily stop my volunteer work because I can’t handle doing things after work — I need to go home and unwind and de-stress. I’m not in school this semester partially because of stress, and partially because my college is ridiculous and requires a full payment a week before Christmas, and partially for the same reason I took the summer semester off: too much stress. I’m a firm believer in the work-to-live, not live-to-work philosophy… and right now, my life is revolving almost 100% around work.

It’s not worth it. I’m coming down with something again — stress, of course, makes me succeptible to whatever germs happen by. I spent the weekend handling other peoples grubby money and talking to thousands of people about sex toys at the taboo trade show. I used to get sick once a year, maybe. Now it’s an ever 2-3 months thing — not including the frequent migraines. (I get those a little more than I’d like anyway, so I don’t count them as being ill.)

I’m frustrated, I’m tired, I’m sick, and it’s no longer worth it. I go on vacation in less than two weeks. I’m going to start scouting for new jobs now, and start applying in earnest when I return. Incidently, I’m currently the customer service manager at a web hosting company. My skills are customer service, I know domain registrations inside & out, I’m pretty technical, although my focus has always been in working with highly technical people (ie, programmers & sysadmins) and translating what they say into people-speak. I speak HTML as a second language, although don’t do a lot of web design specifically as my artsy skills are ass. I’m heavily involved with a local BDSM organization, and (usually) volunteer once a week with a drop in center for survival sex workers. I’ve had opportunities to work in the sex industry before (er, not as a sex WORKER, but in the industry), but they didn’t pay high enough. Alas, I have a level of comfort that I’m used to that requires a decent salary.

Want to hire me? Or at least commiserate with the fact that I want to fling myself out a window, because it’s easier than going to work every day?

I’m so freaking tired of this.

Edit: Oh, forgot to mention one thing: Other than the owner of the company, I’m the only one (and possibly even more than him) who knows how to do my job. They are going to be SO F**** without me. Which actually makes me feel a little guilty about wanting to leave… but really, that’s not enough. Not my problem.