A life of extremes.
I’m sure I’m not the only one… But man, it’d be really great to just be happy for a while. I was happy this time last week.
Instead, I had a really, really awful weekend. I’m sure it was stress-induced, but I had the worst migraine ever, yesterday. It lasted about 14 hours in total.
And today, I woke up with hangover-like symptoms from the pain meds I was forced to take to manage the pain. Wow. Hangover without the fun… Nice.
At least I didn’t suffer from any real physical pain today. That’s something.
I know it has everything to do with missing my Dad. I’ll admit it… I feel really sad. I thought I could spend the day thinking about all the happy things I could remember about my Dad. Maybe I’d enjoy a glass or two of wine while writing in my journal — He loved to share a bottle of wine with his family. Instead, I just felt extremely alone, and the after-effects from yesterday stopped me from opening up the wine I had purchased especially for today.
It’s not like I don’t have people I can call — I do. But, I just couldn’t. I even canceled a movie night with Vern tonight. So, despite feeling lonely, I couldn’t do anything about it. It’s ridiculous even sharing that — It doesn’t make any sense.
I know this will pass. But, wow, this emotional crap sucks today.
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Wow. This was a very open / transparent post. Thanks for sharing this with us. Hope the week gets better.
Shane
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makes perfect sense to me…and you are right, it does suck
It’s not ridiculous, not at all. I’m sorry you feel this way. It is heart breaking to miss someone so paramount in your life. Sometimes it feels like memories aren’t enough, like they aren’t even tangible.
I feel lonely these days too my dear. Just like you, I could easily pick up a phone to talk to someone, but then I just..don’t. I hate being lonely, but still often choose to just be alone.
It will get easier, I send you positive thoughts and strength…Even better, a BIG *HUG*
I personally think that grief is a emotion that we tend to hide too much. Embrace your love and grief for your dad. Know there are people all around you that care. I hope you can get a good night’s sleep. Hugs
I understand what you are going through. I lost my mom last February and my mood has often been deeply affected, sometimes for hours, sometimes for days or weeks.
The good news is that it does get easier with time. It will soon be 10 years since my brother passed away and although I still miss him, I usually remember things with a smile.
Hang in there. Things do get better with time.
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I had wanted to leave you a comment on your previous post but didn’t get a chance to unfortunately.
I’m sure you can attest to this – emotional pain comes out in physical pain… but statements like that don’t change your loss, or how much you’re hurting inside. Keep taking good care of yourself, as well as letting people in your life love you in the way they can. 
Thanks guys… I’m feeling a lot better today.
I had a long talk with my step-mom (not the one that was married to my Dad when he passed away) and she made sure that I talked through my sadness. Penney’s awesome that way
I know I’ll have my moments, but at least these days, they are moments, and not regular occurrences. That’s a relief.
I know there’s not much anyone can say when you’re having one of those weeks. My heart goes out to you. I try to keep as much of my personal life out of my blog as I can (except, of course, my sex/dating/relationship life) and so I don’t really talk about this stuff on my site but I too suffer from migraines and I’ve recently lost a parent. There are days when I just want to close the door to my bedroom and not come out. But I do come out. And I know the days and weeks will eventually get better.
Not much comfort, I know.
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