Mean people suck.
I hopped onto Twitter today, and couldn’t believe what I saw… Several separate (and unique) threads of people flaming others. What the hell?!
…Did I miss the clock turning back to a time when we were five years old again? Can people not use a filter? Just because you are behind a computer screen, and not talking directly to someone, doesn’t mean your human decency skills should go out the window.
Rude, nasty people just suck. And, I’m exercising my right to filter that crap out. [unfollow]
[click!]
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I have never used Twitter. But — the decency thing, this is something I have been contemplating for a while now. I used to think people were for the most part inherently good. But with the invent of the internet now I think they are inherently evil and the only thing that keeps many people behaving properly is the threat of physical violence. Once they are safely anonymous on the internet, that is when we see one’s true nature. Ugly, isn’t it?
Laurie’s last blog post was… Recipe: Chicken In Spicy Mustard Sauce
Agreed.
Flamers/trolls/generally nasty people both online and IRL can bite it.
Life is to short to give these jerks an audience in any medium.
@Laurie – It is ugly. It’s also been my experience that these same people IRL are also pretty mean, generally speaking. It’s really awful. I wish someone would show them how horrid they look to others – I’m certainly not going to do it, but I will vote with my lack of attention to them. (I also believe that the meanest people are usually the ones that desire the most attention, negative or not)
@Jemmen — Amen, sistah!
It definitely isn’t just you. Even though I haven’t seen this sort of stuff on my twitter feed, I’ve seen it in online forums and other blogs. I definitely don’t think it’s necessary. But, as long as people don’t speak up against it, people will continue to behave that way. Which is why I think you are doing the right thing by unfollowing, and letting people know why.
Jennifer’s last blog post was… Star Trek III: The Search for Spock
One of the issues with Twitter is conversations between two people may have a certain tone that is totally acceptable between those two people — teasing, mocking, typical of their style of interaction — but since it’s happening in a public place, people may misunderstand their intentions.
“Playful Antagonism” may best describe my interactions with a lot of my friends; I’m sure strangers looking at us may think we’re being total jerks to each other, but it’s all a matter of individual comfort levels.
And of course, in 140 characters, Twitter Terseness can make even friendly comments appear more brusque than intended!
Totally agree. I recently unfollowed someone after several nasty tweets landed in my stream. I don’t have time for toxic people IRL or online. But that is the beauty of Twitter, Facebook etc – you have the power to unfollow, ignore, protect and block.
I have a twitter account, but don’t use it that often. When I try to carry on a conversation over there, nobody responds. If I wanted to talk to myself, I wouldn’t have spent all that loot on therapy.
Too many people are clueless when it comes to the internet. It’s not serious business, stop acting like it’s supposed to be and chill out with the angst.
C.B.Jones’s last blog post was… You’re my borther/sister from another mother
Sadly, I’ve experienced the “flame the poster instead of criticizing the post” on my blog recently. I had someone come along, who has since decided to write me off as a friend, attempt to insult my intelligence by inferring a lack thereof – on my personal blog no less – simply because my viewpoint diverged from his. Of course, being my blog, I edited the really below-the-belt remarks, left his initial one and then posted a calm rational reply debunking what he was saying.
He’s since gone off to write me off as a friend. Eh, whatever. In any case, found your comment on Twitter and wanted to join your conversation since I have a happy ending to share on this. Following this mess, I’ve since gone on to make friendships with 3 other bloggers who I wish I could go out for a coffee with. Moral of the story – sure, there are some insecure, nasty people out there, but if you move past them, you’re likely to find some genuine, sincere people who are more worth your time and attention.
Well I know I’m often the butt of several ‘mean tweets’ even though I’m not necessarily “@”‘ed. It’s super tough to just sit back and watch all these things get tossed at you, like you said, from behind a computer screen. The feeling of being helpless is overwhelming.
Rebecca’s last blog post was… Review: Qoola Yogurt and Fruit on Denman
I have very, very rarely been the target of any mean tweets (actually so far I can’t recall a single one) but I hate it when it happens. And I have no patience for those people. Now that I’m on Facebook, I’m kind of worried, but heck… trolls/sock puppets and flamers will always be there. It’s an individual choice to neutralize them by removing them from our lives (via block or unfollow, etc.)
Hugs,
R
Raul’s last blog post was… Classifieds
– 2 BR condo up at Whistler available this weekend
Thanks for everyone’s input… To be clear, no one was flaming me (it’s rare that I have that problem, I guess I’ve just been lucky) but when people flame my friends, I get just as upset as if it were me.
The troublemakers have now been removed from my feeds (all of them… RSS, Facebook, Twitter etc.) because they shouldn’t get attention. I’m only one voice, but, at least I have a vote.
I look forward to others’ view on this too… Thanks again for popping by to express yourselves!
I direct your attention to the Internet Dickwad Theory:
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/03/19/
Of course, it needs to be updated that “anonymity” isn’t actually necessary anymore. woohaw.
donna’s last blog post was… Wanted: Crockpot Opinions
yes indeed, mean people stink. as we connect more and more through technology, it’s amazing how much more de-personalized we are in our approaches and expressions to each other. our standards of what we can and can’t say; what we can or can’t divulge…. it’s all being re-written in our day and age…
but here’s another important point to remember. even though it’s in your stream, it’s not necessarily about you. so don’t go all carly simon.
ignore it and move on. kindling only lights when you throw a match on it.
that said, unfollow is your friend.
buzzbishop’s last blog post was… Happy Birthday to Them
LOL @Buzz… “Carly Simon” — None of it was directed at me, actually. I needed to vent, though. Because, after all, mean people do suck!
yeah, i know it wasnt at you directly, but i sometimes have to stop when i see stuff in the stream and realize that twitter is a HUGE bathroom wall and it’s not always a personal note.
so if you see something you dont like – ask – or just ignore it and move on.
ignorance is bliss sometimes.
buzzbishop’s last blog post was… Happy Birthday to Them
@Buzz… True dat.
Don’t have a My space anymore because of the immaturity so prevalent there. Facebook, so far anyway, has proven to be the gathering place for the mature, the responsible… it’s a place for adults – figuratively and literally.
Haven’t gone to Twitter yet, not sure I want to.
Mike
Mike Althouse’s last blog post was… Awakening
Any social network is a gathering of the people you work to surround yourself with; the networks don’t bring the maturity levels, the users do.
Adam Jury’s last blog post was… Dirty Words Design Episode 0
Personally, I think that it’s just the way the world is going lately and that’s spilling over to the Internet (a.k.a. twitter).
Unfollow, forget, and repeat.
Thomas’s last blog post was… Second Guessing Book Plans
oh Tanya really give up your mean people shit. you are one of the fakest people in the scene let me just say how nice it’ll be not having to be fake nice to you anymore! and if buzz bizzhop can bash the city and you think that is being ‘nice’. you are part of the problem. but thanks for removing me i actually removed you months ago.
Corinna, please take your mean-spirited attitude somewhere else. I don’t go onto your blog and bash you. This is exactly what I’m talking about. I didn’t even mention the GROUP of people that I was removing (by name). You were one of several — Because, dear, I have a little more tact. You are not welcome here — Please don’t come back.
This is why I live mostly IRL. I don’t live by my Twitter or blog. In my opinion it’s the people I come face to face with that actually matter.
Char’s last blog post was… haves and have nots
Tanya,
Um… if you were, like looking for blogs to fill in those gaps from those you removed, well then, my URL is available!
I know how to be nice – right up to the when it’s time to be not nice. Thankfully, those times are few and far between.
Mike
Mike Althouse’s last blog post was… Awakening
Lol – me too
Although it is a shame that blogrolling hasn’t recovered from its hiccup yet, so I’m filling up my Bookmarks instead.
I know what you mean about the offensive idiots out there. When I was involved in running the Warcraft guild, most of the time people were able to get along. But when they didn’t (and we had our fair share of scumbags), I ended up being the one hitting them with the baseball bat. Which got me the nickname “Iceangel the Enforcer”. It was an ok reputation to have and I hope I didn’t abuse it but I’d have preferred the quiet life to getting abuse over MSN from idiots who didn’t like that they needed a slappin’ …
You can’t choose family but you can choose friends. And then includes being able to tell the ex-friends to take a hike if they no longer deserve your attention. I’ve happily not had to take the MSN Block route too much
Sleepypete’s last blog post was… Don’t worry …
I have had people say mean things to me in places I would think no one would be mean. I find that mean people are everywhere. Everywhere! But the thing that keeps me sane is knowing that great and wonderful people are everywhere as well.
If I don’t like someone, I don’t pretend to be nice to them, but I also know that being rude and mean will get me nowhere.
And, I have to admit, even though I know it isn’t personal, (how could it be, they don’t know who I am,) it still upsets me.
Mean people do suck. It’s even worse when they rag on the lifestyles of your other friends in public places on facebook. Don’t people *get* that submitting comments to peoples’ status, photos, notes, etc. are all PUBLIC? Posting to a wall is PUBLIC!
It’s bad that twitter doesn’t let you direct message folks who don’t already follow you. I can see their point: to prevent spam; but we can always block the losers who spam. There are so many times I want to contact someone but not publicly. Ah well. It is what it is.
Cheers! Love your look.
Tony Chung’s last blog post was… Tony Macchiato from Starbucks FTW!
My motto for oodles of yesrs : lets play with the ones, that want to play with me …makes life a heck of a lot easier .
Cool your on twitter! going to follow you man!
So nicely said, Tanya, as always. I’ve noticed this tendency for public discussions in virtually any online forum to eventually degrade to juvenile – and often profane – name-calling and related nastiness. It saddens me to no end to see such blatant examples of the worst kinds of behaviours…it’s almost as if some of us collectively don’t know any better. Or refuse to learn.
I’m with you: anyone who resorts to this kind of baseness is immediately yanked from my realm. Twitter? Unfollow. Facebook? Unfriended. E-mail? Blocked…life is, after all, too short to waste on such nastiness and the nasties who perpetuate it.
Thankfully there are good folks like you to raise the issue. And thankfully you haven’t unfriended me yet
Carmi’s last blog post was… Game on
I like your next post, it has a nice big smiley happy face.
You know, whenever I come across these yahoo’s that think they have the right to treat others like a misbehaving pet without any fear of reprisal, I like to imagine that I am the “World Marshal”, an omnipitent and omniscient being that has the ability to act as judge, jury and executioner for people who just don’t want to act like human beings. I would give each person on the planet 2 warnings, followed by a very unpleasant and public end to their pathetic life. I look at it as “Forced Darwinism”. Of course, this is just a daydream (or a mighty good premise for a movie) and I usually just give those folks a good internal tongue lashing, shake my head and hope they get hit by a bus. Disturbing, don’t you think?