Although, each morning brings a brighter start to my day than the day before, I still find myself searching for tools to get through this disaster.  Obviously, drinking myself silly every night isn’t the answer, and keeping busy works to a point, but when I find myself in bed alone at night, my head starts to reel with all the “what-ifs”, and “what’s next”.  Standard fare, I know… But obsessively thinking about this stuff isn’t good.

Time is the biggest healer, but there’s got to be something I can do to feel better while time passes.  I don’t want to take two steps forward to take one step back during this whole process.

Anyone have any ideas?

It started off really well.  I got a great, full night’s sleep last night, and woke up refreshed this morning.

When I got into the car to head to the office, my favourite song was playing on the radio: All I Wanna Do by Sheryl Crow (a song I regularily live my life by)… How could I not smile with that blaring as I made my way through traffic on a sunny Thursday morning?

Things are looking up.  I have much to be thankful for…

The weekend is nearly here!  What’s everyone looking forward to?  Me?  I’m off for an extreme chick weekend at Whistler!  Yay!!

And, before I forget… I’m making turkey dinner this year on Christmas Day.  Are you a refugee, and would like to join myself, Miranda and Reilly for some good eats and Christmas cheer?  Please feel free to drop me a line!  Don’t be shy!

We laughed through “A Prairie Home Companion” last night… Here’s a few quotes that I thoroughly enjoyed!

Garrison Keillor: We come from people who brought us up to believe that life is a struggle, and if you should feel really happy, be patient: this will pass.
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Guy Noir: Look, I’m a man of the world like yourself. But these people, they’ve put their lives into this show.
Axeman: Well now they can put their lives into something else. That’s the beauty of the world, there’s always something to put your life into.
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Jearlyn Steele: Why do you work so hard to get what you don’t even want?
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Dusty: When God created woman / He gave her not two breasts but three. / When the middle one got in the way, / God performed surgery. / Woman stood before God / With the middle breast in hand / Said,”What do we do with the useless boob?” / And God created man.
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Lefty: Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow was already taken. 
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Yolanda Johnson: Duct tape will not make an honest man out of you.

What’s your favourite movie quote?

Wow, I have some truly amazing friends & family. 

Let’s see… Over the past five days, I’ve sobbed on their shoulders, (sorry about the mascara), woke them up at 4am, called them countless times, invited myself out to S’s work Christmas party as her date (no, I’ve not gone to the darkside), been incredibly needy, and all-in-all, been on an emotional rollercoaster making me not a ton of fun to be around.

But, today I hit bottom.  There’s only going up from here. 

So, thanks everyone.  Hitting bottom without your help would have hurt a ton more…  I love you guys!

I feel like puking right now.

…That’s what I’m going to hold on to.

I just said goodbye to Michael.  Well, actually, he said goodbye to me two days ago, but needed to come over today to finalize some financial stuff.  We had our time (a year and four days to be exact), but it’s over now.  He’s moving out on Monday.

Yes, I’m as shocked as many of you are.  I really didn’t see this coming, but it’s what he wants.  There was no changing his mind.

This whole situation makes me so horribly sad and hurt, but I’ll survive this.  I’ve got so many amazing friends and family who I’ll lean on for a bit while I find my strength again.  I was out with some of them last night, and managed to have a really great time… The hardest part was climbing into bed alone for the second night.

This Christmas season is going to be a tough one for me.

“By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.” – Confucius

I’ll post about why when I can get my head around it.  Suffice to say, for now, that I’ll be leaning on friends and family yet again for support.  I thought my life was finally on track with my new job, but the personal side of things has just had a tornado go through it last night.

The best part of my day, yesterday?  Getting the car towed.  – Yes, you read that right.

I just want to curl up in a corner and melt away.

More soon.

Last night, Michael and I headed out to the border to renew his work permit, which expires fairly quickly.  I wanted to get out to boonies before the next snowfall hit, which has been forcast for mid-day today.  Pulling out of the garage yesterday morning for work was a bit scary, so I thought I was prepared when I pulled out of the alternate exit to pump up a low tire at a local gas station before we headed off for our 80 km journey.

Except, apparently, ice removal on major roadways downtown doesn’t appear to be a concept that Vancouver Public Works understands.  I’m talking about Bute, which is a steep hill, and hasn’t had any snow fall on it in 24 hours.  You’d think it would have been salted and sanded, but no!  When we pulled onto the road, it was obvious this was a mistake.  We were slowly sliding backwards down the hill towards the very busy Georgia Street. 

My heart started beating very quickly, as I tried desperately to stop the car.  My hands were shaking.  This was the very last feeling I wanted to be experiencing — It was almost 10 years to the day since my huge 18 car pile-up on black ice which left me disabled for almost four years.  I was so angry with myself for thinking that the roads were safe, and the hill wouldn’t be a problem.

Thankfully, I managed to pull (slide?) into a driveway on the other side of the road, and turn the car around.

When we finally got on to Georgia Street, after abandoning the idea of getting to the gas station up the road, I managed to calm myself down enough to embark on the journey… But, man, that is a horrifying experience I would be happy never to be a part of, again!

How about you?  Ever had an extremely scary experience in a vehicle?  Did it alter how you deal with road conditions?